BIRTHDAYS!!

Here am talking this chance to describe my views on birthdays…my brainy friend used to say that we born for certain reason, god had already made our destiny… like that usually I never gets what she is talking about most  of the times but still I manage to fight back anyway. I don’t know its true or not. may b true . but am glad to have a life whether I have a destiny or not. And to celebrate birthdays. Especially  my loved ones. Family, friends. In a way we really need a day to celebrate for us. really v celebrate onam, Christmas,easter,etc for a reason or as a tradition but birthdays are personal celebrations..to celebrate a day for being alive, one year more in this world !!!

Actually its quite amazing that birthdays are like reminders that keeps saying we are getting old and about our responsibilities which are coming on way. Really frustrating some times..to think about that…but we all should celebrate our birthdays… because who the hell knows ..we would be alive next year. I love to give surprises for birthdays.. sometimes unexpected things gives more spark on birthdays. Doings pranks, teasing all are fun. Sometimes it get messy too.. for example playing with chocolate cakes..it will give you pimples and cleaning after the party is way for difficult than think but totally fun and cant stop doing it

Pranks and teasing .. without that what’s fun of birthday ..mostly among best friends… ignoring birthday boy /girl in their birthday and hiding presents for them ..we have fun really ..seing some serious confused face on them …after finding gifts surly we can expect some love mostly start with few bad word exchange ,fights alast  a hug . calling them at midnit at sharp 12am is another fun..and wishing them happy birthday can actually do 2 things..one they would be happy ,second a sleepless birthday .. if we think its actually quite amazing were all the places we celebrate birthdays sometimes in home,

School..am bet in school days we usually wait for our birthday ..in my case its true because only that day we are allowed to wear colordress and we feels specal on that day by giving chocolates, everybody singing happy birthday for us.. evey thing feeled so special  that times ..as we get older our style of celebration changes in +1,+2 we celebrates birthdays as special way that we could in the rules .in college we are free to celebrate it all way we wanted., in canteens, classrooms, in grounds, parks,restaurants

Anywere we like  ..nothing matters on that day we are free to take any wish..

Then most important thing birthday presents … whats a birthday without presents.. everybody loves presents .. me love a lot…but always best presents come in unexpected ways..in my last birthday best gift I got was a call from my friend which I haven’t had contact for a long ..that moment was just awesome..but I  probably I want to say that my last birthday too expensive tooo ..but that doesn’t matter .. I was sooo happy ..soo happy

I cant even expesses how happy I was . today my best friend is having her birthday … and I want to make it special in the way that I can.. from a long distance .. just to say you are lucky to have a friend like me (hahahahaahah just kidding) am really greatful to have you as my best friend ..i love you buddy and I miss you so much ..happy birthday dear anjali …. Happy birthday…..happy birthday …. Toooooo youuuuuuuuuuuuu ( sing with tune yaar...u know am a terrible singer.so sing urself make comfortable)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

Inbalance of emotions

glass work with my painting

color pencil skech

for my friend

a sweet moment with a loved one ..may b a good bye or a good start 

DIARY

Moving  on is not that simple as I thought before with friends. It’s soo hard …. I never thought about it , cutting friends out .. who were the ones who gave me company , (it was just fun and laughter  all around even I never seen them) when I was feeling so alone  and dump because of crush failure, my friends  got busy, some where in distant places , some fall in new love ,some family issues and all . all that made me feel so alone and I started spending my more time on social networks and painting ...it was such a hell ,tuff time for me ..only relief I got from was from painting…but all my paintings and drawings seemed so sad and mad just like me ..then again my long time online friend was there to rescue … he gave me company at that time.. that was something better  because I can freely talk to him ..he told me that now it’s the forth year of our friendship…I was thinking OMG.. four years its just freaking actually shocking that I never had a fight with him .. Usually I fights with all my friends more with my best friends.. Its quite amazing … then I became company with his friends with a warning from him “don’t accept their friend request “ but who listens…. I accept their friendship,  at the beginning I thought hooo am in trouble  they are commenting too much because I never used to these  things it was complete a new thing to me in first case I didn’t understand how one can write non sense as comments….. but I started liking it . I started writing little bit of nonsense to as response to their comments… but I enjoyed it .. hearing their stories was so interesting  most of them were senti – stories like they said . I got one more friend who shared same birth date with me among them.  I found that we have some common foolishness senti + mental . they were a great inspiration for me to tease my other friends in college..then it was nice to hear about their girl friends, about their works, suggesting room color ,all wer fun .. in that time I thought that so called my best friends forgot me for a second but again I was totally wrong one day it was surprise my girls went back I felt sooooo much happy  after a long ..i just had a bundle of things to share …it was such a relief because we never had any secrets between them from their return all are coming back my friends all are here with me again and started asking me questions they said am loosing my character I just said what hell are you talking ? but I did loose something .  I never thought they know me these much .. they were eating my head as alive.they are telling me that am crossing the boundary .. I cried them then one said we got you back I became so anger and had a fight but it was for 5 minute .. I got such a relief if I said the truth I felt like me again. I realize that I hurt people and still hurting some with my activities sooo I decide to end it . it was something really hard for me to do. My friends told me to do it , they know that I won’t am not a bold person ,but they want me to do it ,,but  I did it.. now also I really don’t know how I unfriend them from my list. But now am feeling so guilty for that .. I know that time cannot be stopped to return back . but still I can say I made some wonderful friends …. I loved them  and  I wish not to forget those moments

innocent love

a hug with lots of love and fear .... of missing friend

moments

moments..which can be treasures for life time....

dont miss it.. 

RADIOACTIVE RAIN

I thought I would really enjoy the rain in the middle of summer....it was like a cold kiss. really (really very badly) wanted to get wet in rain.  I was about to set in ..but suddenly I got a spark in my head about a message I got that not to do that because of radioactive leak in Japan, that pulled me backward after that when I try to enjoy rain ,only thing came to my mind is about the people in Japan. It disturbed me  a lot  many TV scenes are coming to head about the tsunami and earth quake felt like they are crying in my head and I realize only thing I can do is pray . Am wet am in rain….. I never notice that. every rain drop hitting me like thrones .I am in pain…. Pain of missing many brothers, sistesters and all, I  prayed  for a minute when I open my eyes a strong lighting …I ran into my room from balcony for a minute I was frightened  of thunder and lightening,,,,,but in somewhere I think that all mighty had head my prayer and he blessed them..

SPACE

I didn't expect you,
to love me till end.
I do expect some love,
when am with you.
waited for you so long,
you didn't even care,may be you do
what I bin through.
you were the one have,
stone heart.
I tried to melt it,but never realise;
stone cant be melt.
I was force to break it,
I couldn't do it; 
even though I wanted.
I couldn't see you with,
broken heart.
where I have so place..
and I saw your love.., for your beloved.
am breaking myself ....
even I have no space.

GOODBYES

Good byes..

Only two words ...some time It gives us pleasure or most hurtful thing in the world..

But a lot of meaning is lying behind every goodbyes some are visible in face some are unreadable thoughts even a mind reader cant read from ones mind….because they are beyond our expectations ..its better not to read mind of others..thank god not to give that power to humans.hmm ya where was I ya goodbyes...so I begin about goodbyes,,,….

Some good byes are a relief for someone who bin paining inside because of one who's reason for it. good byes of our dear one may feels us like we have been left alone in middle of desert with all the paradise but with pain with only felt by oneself...some good byes are frank good bye see yaaa... thats one kind of good bye which we usually hears ,,it gives hope or we are sure about seeing that person again in somewhere

again in this world. that hope makes us relived more than ever ..some good byes has a power to stay us alive even though we are sinking in a ship..we takes

struggle to come back for person we loved ..Thinks that he/she is waiting for me...some good byes are part of exploring our life we are forced to say good bye

for discovering what we are and what we want in life that's why some good byes are part of life. Good byes of our dear one whom we loved are painful

But saying goodbye to them when they wanted are real affection towards them ,by letting them go. .., some good byes are never told it just happens in life

When my friend left this world, he never even say even a good bye to us ..That hurt us a lot and still also we believe that he's with us. Because he didn’t go anywhere

if he had left ..We are sure that he'll make sure that he had   said good bye to us......... some good byes of dear friends for a temporary period are the worst

Good byes. We miss then even though we are in contact in every single day, still that contacts are not enough for sharing things. Like I misses my best buddies.

Some goodbyes makes us cry till the end, some gives us pleasure, some makes us evolve, other a way of escape, some a break from reality, others a smile, some for finding

our self ,some a relief with pain, some with pain of missing, some with hope of coming back....................................it goes on. Then also v says good bye

a goodbye for tomorrow for sun to rise again ..................

 so GOODBYE…………………………………………………………..

on feelingss

Is fooling our on self is called love?? .. am been confused these days ..by searching the definision of love..
i found a guy months before but he's just a highly attitude man who dont even know i like him..i think he know
but he's acting as a jerke by acting in frond of me ...even thouh every time am falling for him each time i see him. his ignoring
attitude had given me so much of pain..i dont even know y i felf soo pain ,bcoz i dont even know him.my frnds told me dat am mad
.so i stop seeing him to understand what i felt about him.i seemed and felt soo normal..actually i started forgeting him ,that wat i thought so,
but i didnt. i saw him again in accidently and that weird feeling came to me again..but am so amazed ..it wasnt soo deep which gave me pain before
still am fall to him..its felts so hard for me not to look him when he's around..and i dont want to hear a 'no' from him.if he knows that i like him
and am fooling my self and am not even sure wat i feels..... yaa... i think its just i dont kow..... anyway i felt something which i neverever felt towards a guy
still am on the way figuring it out...it may b love .. my untold love..

 

rain a relif