for my friend

a sweet moment with a loved one ..may b a good bye or a good start 

DIARY

Moving  on is not that simple as I thought before with friends. It’s soo hard …. I never thought about it , cutting friends out .. who were the ones who gave me company , (it was just fun and laughter  all around even I never seen them) when I was feeling so alone  and dump because of crush failure, my friends  got busy, some where in distant places , some fall in new love ,some family issues and all . all that made me feel so alone and I started spending my more time on social networks and painting ...it was such a hell ,tuff time for me ..only relief I got from was from painting…but all my paintings and drawings seemed so sad and mad just like me ..then again my long time online friend was there to rescue … he gave me company at that time.. that was something better  because I can freely talk to him ..he told me that now it’s the forth year of our friendship…I was thinking OMG.. four years its just freaking actually shocking that I never had a fight with him .. Usually I fights with all my friends more with my best friends.. Its quite amazing … then I became company with his friends with a warning from him “don’t accept their friend request “ but who listens…. I accept their friendship,  at the beginning I thought hooo am in trouble  they are commenting too much because I never used to these  things it was complete a new thing to me in first case I didn’t understand how one can write non sense as comments….. but I started liking it . I started writing little bit of nonsense to as response to their comments… but I enjoyed it .. hearing their stories was so interesting  most of them were senti – stories like they said . I got one more friend who shared same birth date with me among them.  I found that we have some common foolishness senti + mental . they were a great inspiration for me to tease my other friends in college..then it was nice to hear about their girl friends, about their works, suggesting room color ,all wer fun .. in that time I thought that so called my best friends forgot me for a second but again I was totally wrong one day it was surprise my girls went back I felt sooooo much happy  after a long ..i just had a bundle of things to share …it was such a relief because we never had any secrets between them from their return all are coming back my friends all are here with me again and started asking me questions they said am loosing my character I just said what hell are you talking ? but I did loose something .  I never thought they know me these much .. they were eating my head as alive.they are telling me that am crossing the boundary .. I cried them then one said we got you back I became so anger and had a fight but it was for 5 minute .. I got such a relief if I said the truth I felt like me again. I realize that I hurt people and still hurting some with my activities sooo I decide to end it . it was something really hard for me to do. My friends told me to do it , they know that I won’t am not a bold person ,but they want me to do it ,,but  I did it.. now also I really don’t know how I unfriend them from my list. But now am feeling so guilty for that .. I know that time cannot be stopped to return back . but still I can say I made some wonderful friends …. I loved them  and  I wish not to forget those moments

innocent love

a hug with lots of love and fear .... of missing friend

moments

moments..which can be treasures for life time....

dont miss it.. 

RADIOACTIVE RAIN

I thought I would really enjoy the rain in the middle of summer....it was like a cold kiss. really (really very badly) wanted to get wet in rain.  I was about to set in ..but suddenly I got a spark in my head about a message I got that not to do that because of radioactive leak in Japan, that pulled me backward after that when I try to enjoy rain ,only thing came to my mind is about the people in Japan. It disturbed me  a lot  many TV scenes are coming to head about the tsunami and earth quake felt like they are crying in my head and I realize only thing I can do is pray . Am wet am in rain….. I never notice that. every rain drop hitting me like thrones .I am in pain…. Pain of missing many brothers, sistesters and all, I  prayed  for a minute when I open my eyes a strong lighting …I ran into my room from balcony for a minute I was frightened  of thunder and lightening,,,,,but in somewhere I think that all mighty had head my prayer and he blessed them..

SPACE

I didn't expect you,
to love me till end.
I do expect some love,
when am with you.
waited for you so long,
you didn't even care,may be you do
what I bin through.
you were the one have,
stone heart.
I tried to melt it,but never realise;
stone cant be melt.
I was force to break it,
I couldn't do it; 
even though I wanted.
I couldn't see you with,
broken heart.
where I have so place..
and I saw your love.., for your beloved.
am breaking myself ....
even I have no space.

GOODBYES

Good byes..

Only two words ...some time It gives us pleasure or most hurtful thing in the world..

But a lot of meaning is lying behind every goodbyes some are visible in face some are unreadable thoughts even a mind reader cant read from ones mind….because they are beyond our expectations ..its better not to read mind of others..thank god not to give that power to humans.hmm ya where was I ya goodbyes...so I begin about goodbyes,,,….

Some good byes are a relief for someone who bin paining inside because of one who's reason for it. good byes of our dear one may feels us like we have been left alone in middle of desert with all the paradise but with pain with only felt by oneself...some good byes are frank good bye see yaaa... thats one kind of good bye which we usually hears ,,it gives hope or we are sure about seeing that person again in somewhere

again in this world. that hope makes us relived more than ever ..some good byes has a power to stay us alive even though we are sinking in a ship..we takes

struggle to come back for person we loved ..Thinks that he/she is waiting for me...some good byes are part of exploring our life we are forced to say good bye

for discovering what we are and what we want in life that's why some good byes are part of life. Good byes of our dear one whom we loved are painful

But saying goodbye to them when they wanted are real affection towards them ,by letting them go. .., some good byes are never told it just happens in life

When my friend left this world, he never even say even a good bye to us ..That hurt us a lot and still also we believe that he's with us. Because he didn’t go anywhere

if he had left ..We are sure that he'll make sure that he had   said good bye to us......... some good byes of dear friends for a temporary period are the worst

Good byes. We miss then even though we are in contact in every single day, still that contacts are not enough for sharing things. Like I misses my best buddies.

Some goodbyes makes us cry till the end, some gives us pleasure, some makes us evolve, other a way of escape, some a break from reality, others a smile, some for finding

our self ,some a relief with pain, some with pain of missing, some with hope of coming back....................................it goes on. Then also v says good bye

a goodbye for tomorrow for sun to rise again ..................

 so GOODBYE…………………………………………………………..